I went back through the files in my old computer to dig up poetry I no longer remember writing. I wrote this one in February 2015 then edited it in December 2018.

Things you can’t take back

All the I love yous and all the I hate yous
And that one night we never slept.

The Adderall crack in my brain
And the LSD hole;

And that time you smashed your phone into minuscule
Pieces,
Because your best friend was dead.

Panic attacks
And credit card debts

And everything we ever said.

Sale items at Forever 21
And that time you told me about your dad.

Promises made and promises broken;
Promises made with instant regret.

Then writing a poem and clicking Send.

Reading Ulysses, reading Pynchon,
And time spent in deprivation tanks;

Thoughts spent on wandering dreams
And wanting another chance.

Getting another chance,
And wasting another chance;

And nights spent driving around Denver
When I should have been in bed.

Freedom, and justice,
And anything with stains on it.

Payback, toast and tea,
Laughter, critique, obscenities,
Deadlines, intimates, nightmares
And gasoline.

Stay gold,
Sabrina